Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
