A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
