My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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