he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
