So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
