he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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