good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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