Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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