Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
How's work?
Spinning.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
