Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
