He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
