No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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