you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Couch. On fire.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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