Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
