We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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