hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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