I think I died a long time ago.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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