did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
