i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i now understand why vodka
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
