You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
