Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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