At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
