It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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