I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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