you would pick up someone in the library
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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