Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
