I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
