So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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