haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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