I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
