Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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