It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
