omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
