You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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