you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
