Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I bet he comes in French.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
