Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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