So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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