Pappa wants mamma naked
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
