Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
