life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
