So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
