somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
