You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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