And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
only you would photoshop your dick
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
