chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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