I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
They have beer where we have blood.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
