Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she told me i tasted like america
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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