4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm getting married
To pizza
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
