is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
