she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
