Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
