the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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